My parents stay together because they made a vow. My mom needs dad’s income. Dad would starve without her. I don’t want to love someone because they are obligated. Commitment is the scariest word in the dictionary because a thesaurus won’t tell you its a synonym for loneliness.
I can’t say I love you to the ones that deserve it. I know they’ll realize it I’ll never deserve them back, knowing they regret holding my hand is a rejection I can’t bear.
Today I want to forget everything that ever happened between me and anyone, I want to be able to talk to all of my old friends and feel okay. I want them to comfort me and tell me that death happens in life, and although it has been almost eleven years, the pain will always be there. I need someone to tell me that losing my brother isn’t the worst thing that can happen to me.